Falling in love

  How does it feel to fall in love?Is it painful?...Or does it feel amazing?To me,I felt both.It felt,amazingly painful.

  Let me tell you this story.He,is amazing.But we're not friends.Unfortunately we don't even talk because something kept us apart.He has an english name,or not but,he's really amazing although that should'nt be his name.He is,my oppa.That guy is not Taeyang or GD,or Hyunseung and Luhan.He's from my school and he's so goddamn tall.At our Taekwondo rehearsal,I kept my goddamn eyes on him until he was gone.Every moment and everyday,I could only see him walking away,or fooling around.But I think thats pretty cute.

  My types are cute,caring,stay by your side and stares at you till you notice then becomes shy.Its so goddamn cute like,idk.You might find it disgusting.Anyways,out of topic.This guy had his first love,so I don't really think he's the right guy for me or so.I can be wrong and right even,this is a tradegy after all.I'm only 14 and fighting to live on,bad feelings has been coming to me.And I have Taeyang's thoughts.Taeyang and me,we will only cherish our first love and wait for them to come back.Unfortunately,I don't have mine yet.You know,the thing is.Taeyang is a romantic guy so obviously his first date can be treasureable but me?I'd probably hesitate alot and even holding hands will make mine sweat.I'm an anti-social person and confession takes efforts.
 
  But this guy,ever since I lost sight of him.He became so special.The other guys that I lost sight of,or rejected me,never EVER made me felt this way.
    "This is one ugly moment,when he walk away and I whom is standing there,watch him go"

First post

This will be my very first.and.saddening.post.to me.
You might not even care,but I do.It concerns me alot and I just had to let it out.She changed,that one amazing,pretty,thoughtful,depressed girl changed.Ever since her mom stopped nagging,she became worst.Let's just say,gangster.
She's been insulting me alot,using her debate skills on me and threating me alot more different than any other of my friends out there.If I cut,will I forget this moment?
I know she's been having a good life,and bad life because she's been lonely.But I feel lonelier,even when I have a family.I tried to get along with them,I'm studying at my best.I just wanna...be their best friends but they seem to dislike me.What have I done wrong?If I cut,will this moment be forgotten?
Lastly,I've been having sudden scars and forgetfulness karma everyday.I felt like,someone talked about me or so,but hold on.Stay strong.
Only a little scratch,that won't hurt more.